Rant

All I have to say right now is that I WANT TO BE PREGNANT TOO! All of my friends either have a kid or are expecting right now...and it has been this way for the past two years! It makes me sad that I don't even have the hoping of getting pregnant right now because we have decided to wait until next year before we start trying...Which I know is what is best, but forget plans and absence of stress...I want a baby to love!

Sorry...just found out another friend is expecting!

Simply Amazing!

Our Lord is simply amazing in all His ways! He is our rock, our redeemer, our grace and peace, but right now God is truly our provider! I can tell you that this week has been difficult for Ryan and I with finances. We are not the only ones...but it gets so overwhelming sometimes. We are saving for my final semester which will take about 3000 dollars, all said and done and we are more than halfway there,which is wonderful! But when we started the process of Ryan going back to school, our goal was to have 8000 before January and we haven't gotten there. Ryan was feeling extra bummed this week because we had made the decision that he wasn't starting school yet due to lack of funds. He really didn't express to me how disappointed he was, but I could tell. We have both been irritable about money and feeling the disappointment of not reaching our goal...and then God takes over!
Ryan's grandparents are in town this week and took us out to lunch. We had a great time catching up with them and talking about life and memories. Then Gary asked about next semester...Ryan responded with we don't have the money so I am not starting...Gary countered with, well how can we help? Ryan responded, (paraphrased) We would appreciate it, but we don't want to get a loan from anyone. And then Jackie (grandma) promptly said, But you would accept a gift! And I started crying...couldn't get the words out of my mouth to Thank them...and everyone else started crying too!
SO RYAN IS GOING TO SCHOOL!!!!!! We are so excited for this! God is so faithful to us even when we don't trust him.
God has also been faithful in helping me stay in touch with friends! Thanks to Ellie, Suzanne and Jessica for being so wonderful to talk with through all this! And Janelle for the support in Youth Group ideas and challenges! I love you guys so much!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11

End of the Semester

Well it is that time of year again...the end of the fall semester. I always struggle at this point with all the deadlines that need to be met and all the unfinished work I have put off until the last week of school! I hate that I do this, but I do it EVERY year. Thanksgiving break is always my lazy point and I love being with family and not working on anything! Why am I like this? Why do I enjoy spending time with people when the world says I should be working hard and advancing in my school and career? I just want to be with friends and family right now! I need to kick myself in the behind to get motivated to really work the next two weeks! Then the next 10 weeks before my show opens! AHHHHH!
I am stressed, but at the same time I know that God has it all under control. I just hope I don't stay lazy thinking He will do it all for me. :)
Ryan is working all the time right now. He gets up early, works all day, then goes to class and does it all without a single complaint. He is amazing. We still are struggling for money and are waiting to see if we will have enough for him to start school in the spring. Who knows... I trust that God is doing all this for our good, it is just tiring and sometimes hard to push through. Ryan is a total saver and I am a total spender...which stinks because that means we both have to give a little to reach our goals and stay sane doing it. I wish I could just surrender my desire for new things and spending money! I pray that God would take away my desires for this! That I would be motivated to save and really get Ryan through school, start building a "nest egg" for kids or a house and that I would finish my applications for teaching jobs!
Life is just so up in the air right now! I don't know what I would do if Christ wasn't my rock to lean against right now!